me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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