Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
