Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
