I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize