R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
