Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I wish i was in the wii world.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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