You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think my vagina is haunted
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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