and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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