Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
