i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Buhtt sex?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
