yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
