I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you traded sex for a burrito?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Randomize
