he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
