I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
