I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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