Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
