ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize