He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
