Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
