there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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