help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
