I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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