Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
