I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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