so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
