playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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