Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
