David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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