For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize