census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
false alarm, still single
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
