so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
