walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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