so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
