i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
