Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
