He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize