you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
