he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
