Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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