I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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