its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
