between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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