The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize