I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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