You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
