We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
