It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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