Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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