Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
