I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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