3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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