Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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