her vagine was all disorganized.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
