you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
