how can u be prego again
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
