just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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