Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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