gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
