the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
