Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
